Steel Sharpens Steel

Posted on by moderndayzendaddy

The age-old maxim “steel sharpens steel,” or “iron sharpens iron” embodies the simple premise that we grow stronger when we surround ourselves with others who are strong. More modern sages tell us to associate with like-minded people, at least in regards to goals, and people who have already succeeded in achieving those goals.

“…avoid the negative influences of other people and surround yourself with successful people who will encourage you to pursue your dreams.” -Zig Ziglar, Born to Win: Find Your Success Code

Motivational speaker Tony Robbins puts it succinctly, “Who you spend time with is who you become.”

In the martial arts this is paramount. As a BJJ practitioner one pursues not only strength, conditioning, mental acuity, and emotional toughness, but more effective methods of combat. While one could conceivably build the first four traits on their own, having a partner and/or coach will greatly facilitate their growth. Developing effective combat techniques, however, simply cannot be accomplished without great training partners.

It is important for each of us to remember that while we’re putting in our time on the mat, working our butts off to achieve our own personal victories, that we’re also there for our training partners. We need one another in order to get where we’re headed. The more like-minded, goal-oriented people we can surround ourselves with, the better.

“Proximity is power… Who you spend time with is who you become.” – Tony Robbins

See you on the mats.

“I Have A Dream”

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As we celebrate the man this week, it’s important to remember his message. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s legacy should stand as a reminder to us all that regardless of race, or for that matter, any other arbitrary external measure, we all are equal in our humanity. Individuals should “not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” (follow this link to read, or better yet, listen to MLK’s historic address)

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

In the Korean martial art tradition, the uniform symbolized this equality. The idea was that, regardless of ones belt rank, all were students of the art and thus wore the same uniform. While a student of higher rank might be further along “the path,” and therefore have more knowledge in the art, they were reminded to appreciate the lower ranks for having the courage to start, and the tenacity to continue on the path.

While we don’t have a specific color code to our uniforms in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, the moral code is the same. As practitioners, we have mutual respect for everybody willing to pursue the path we have chosen.

Training in BJJ is difficult, and anybody who’s put in an extended time on the mat knows this as undeniable fact. It is physically and emotionally demanding, requiring not only extraordinary physical output, but taxing your psyche as well. Learning to cope with winning & losing, fighting from uncomfortable positions, and retaining your composure under duress, all add up to a psychological workout like no other.

It is also a challenge to make the time to train. Most of us have lives off the mat and must work our training schedule into our lives, working around school, our jobs, and our families. To train regularly and consistently, while still maintaining our other obligations as family members and citizens is a task of herculean proportions.

It is important to note that, while we train to develop skills which can destroy, we train in a manner that strengthens both ourselves and our partners. In order for each of us to pursue excellence, we need excellent training partners. If we injured or “beat down” every soul who chose to train, we wouldn’t be able to achieve our goals. This necessity further reinforces the supportive culture we have on the mat.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Anybody is welcome to join our ranks. Regardless one’s color, creed, or station in life, if you have the courage to try, the willingness to commit, and the strength to continue, you are always welcome.

Happy New Year!

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With the New Year, there comes a sense of a new beginning; a clean page on which to write the story we want. People start out with the best of intentions, making a list of their New Year’s Resolutions, and taking the first steps in realizing their aspirations. Yet, while many aspire to achieve their goals, many will quit, and find themselves making the same goals the following year. This is so common that the entire concept has become a well-known punch-line.

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One of the reasons some are successful while others aren’t lies in the difference between being interested, as opposed to being committed, to doing something.

Those who are simply interested in doing something plan on getting to it when it’s convenient. Whatever the goal, whether losing weight, finding a better job, or  finishing a college degree, the interested plan on doing it when they find the time, when everything lines up, or when they “feel like it.” So people interested in getting fit for the new year hit the gym, diligently putting in their time, for a few weeks. Soon, they start finding excuses as to why they can’t make it in as often. It becomes more and more inconvenient, until soon they’re not going at all.

The committed, on the other hand, do whatever they need to do in order to accomplish their goals. They learn everything they can about the pursuit, create a plan, and prioritize their time in order to assure they dedicate enough to the effort. They don’t allow anything to stand in their way. The committed don’t wait until they find the time, they make it. They don’t wait for everything to line up, they line everything up. They don’t wait until “they feel like it.” The committed follow through on the plan knowing the long-term goal will far outweigh any short-term feeling that may come and go along the way.

What are you committed to for 2018?

Constant and Never-Ending Improvement

Posted on by moderndayzendaddy

With fall here, I am once again engaged in all of the projects that come with the change of seasons: fall pruning, garden winterizing, gutter cleaning, and halloween decorating. Such manual labor provides plenty of time to think, and I find myself, as I do with every transformation of the seasons, ruminating on the change that is constant in our lives – spring to summer, summer to fall, and so on, cycling back around to start all over again.  This circular perspective of such repetitive labor can feed into the misconception that we, too, are just running in circles.

It’s really more of a spiral, isn’t it?

 

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A little girl with a dog, in the back yard in October, and yet…

As we cycle through the annum, circling back around in the all-too-familiar pattern, we also become older, having experienced yet one more year that we will never see again. In this fashion, the circle of the seasons becomes the spiral of our lives. So I ask myself, “as we’re spiraling through life, are we spiraling upward or down, forward or back?”

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Same little girl, same dog, in the same back yard in October.

The Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) lifestyle offers many “tools” that can help us direct our own personal spiral in the direction we choose. The martial arts have long recognized the ideals of courtesy and respect, self-discipline and humility, patience and commitment as being vital to a healthy, successful, and ultimately happy life. We find these ideals espoused in the ancient Budo Code of the Samurai and the concept of Chivalry from Europe’s knights in the Middle Ages. Read any self-help book today, and one will find a re-hashing of the same, time-tested truths.

Perhaps the most important concept, and the one I believe binds all of the other ideals together is embodied in C.A.N.I., a term coined by Tony Robbins.  Constant And Never-ending Improvement should be ingrained in our lifestyle. We should be taking every opportunity to improve physically, spiritually, and intellectually. Just as we train daily to hone our martial art skills, so too, should we be fine-tuning the other areas of our lives.

We should be furthering our understanding of the world around us in every way possible. Being a voracious reader should be near the top of our to-do list. Podcasts can be a great source of thought provoking ideas. Taking classes at the local university/college, or participating in work-related seminars & conferences can also be sources of growth. Take every opportunity to learn and grow, to be motivated or inspired. These sources, together with a healthy peer group (see last weeks post) can help us stay motivated and on course to achieve our goals, and enjoy the good life.

It is a mistake to think that at some point in our lives we get to coast. Only if we are continually striving to be the best person we can, will we ever experience our true potential. We should be striving to be the best version of ourselves possible; as a parent, as a spouse, as an employee, as a neighbor, and as a citizen.

See you on the mats!

 

Know Your Enemy

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“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” – Sun Tzu

The past few weeks we’ve been discussing the ABC’s of Self Defense. We looked at some of the statistics regarding violence in the United States. There are, however, other threats to our well being, and any serious look at self defense would be remiss if it didn’t address these very real epidemics facing our country. While we are taking steps to protect ourselves from being the victims of violence, we should also consider how to prevent becoming victims of poor lifestyle choices, and the chronic diseases that follow.

Of the top 10 causes of death in the U.S. (this holds true world-wide) violent crime doesn’t even make the list. There were 13,455 homicides in the U.S. in 2015, the most recent year for which we have the statistics on chronic disease. The FBI just came out with the 2016 crime statistics, which sadly show another increase, with 15,070 homicides. Compare these numbers to those in the chart below.

To be fair, it should be noted that these numbers only represent the worst outcome of violence (death). More often than not, victims of violent crime survive. A more accurate number to compare, therefore, is total violent crimes, which in 2016 came to 1,248,185. (In a country with a population of 323,127,513, that works out to about 386 incidents per 100,000 people.)

Five of the top ten killers in the U.S., namely, heart disease, cancer, chronic lower respiratory diseases, stroke, and diabetes, killed over 1.5 million United States citizens in 2015. This number only represents those who died. It’s estimated that nearly 1 out of 2 people are suffering with at least one chronic illness! (for comparison, that works out to be about 50,000 cases per 100,000 people.)

The World Health Organization (WHO) further estimates that up to 80% of heart disease, stroke, and type 2 diabetes, as well as 40% of cancer could be prevented by eliminating the risk factors. Even if we were to take a much more conservative approach, say just 10%; that still works out to 144,963 lives saved in one year. Four of the major risk factors are things we have complete control over: lack of physical activity, poor nutrition, tobacco use, and excessive alcohol consumption.

Boil all these numbers down and we’re left with this realization. For every victim of a violent crime in the U.S., there are 130 people with a chronic illness, and up to 103 of those could be prevented simply by living a healthy lifestyle!

If we’re serious about protecting ourselves and our families, training in the martial arts is a big part of the picture. It can give us the physical skills, and the mental capacity to “take care of business.” Here’s a five point plan to help us build our bodies like a fortress, ready to defend against all adversaries, including the ravages of chronic disease.

  1. Train like a warrior every day.
  2. Eat a healthy diet with an emphasis on vegetables, fruits, nuts, and lean meats.
  3. Avoid highly processed, sugary foods with little nutritional value, smoking, and drinking alcohol in excess.
  4. Drink a lot of water.
  5. Get plenty of sleep.

By choosing to live an active, healthy lifestyle we are developing the most powerful self defense skills we can.

See you on the mats.

next week…

 

Self Defense 101

Posted on by moderndayzendaddy

In Brazilian Jiujitsu, we spend the vast majority of our time learning and playing the game of BJJ. Being a great player requires, among other things, a thorough understanding of both offense and defense, of move and counter-move. One needs to understand their personal strengths and weaknesses, and ideally, those of their opponent as well. Understanding the rules of engagement is also a must. In this manner, once again, sport provides a great corollary to life. As martial artists, it is incumbent upon us to prepare ourselves for battle, to be prepared to protect ourselves and our families. Part of this preparation is in knowing all we can about our opponents and the battlefield. Against whom, and for what should we be prepared?

The media would have us believe that there is violence around every corner, but for the vast majority of Americans, this simply isn’t the case. While 2015 and 2016 both witnessed slight upticks in violent crime, they are still part of an overall downward trend since the early 1990’s. Whether these slight increases are the beginning of a return upward, or just anomalies on a continued decline, only time will tell.

vcrimechart

It’s important to remember that while these numbers represent the national average, there are large geographic variations. (Here’s the FBI’s breakdown for 2015 by metropolitan area.) What is striking about this recent increase, for example, is that it is not widespread throughout the country, but is occurring predominantly in particular major metropolitan areas. Not only that, but digging a bit deeper into the stats, we find it’s focused in particular areas/neighborhoods within any given city. (Here’s an interesting look at cities, broken down further into individual neighborhoods)

One’s odds of victimization also correlate with such factors as age, married status, and income levels. For example, in 2015, people between the ages of 12-24 were victims of violent crime much more frequently than older age groups. Married people experienced a relatively low level while separated people had the highest. Economics also plays a role: the lower the household income, the higher the odds of being a victim. (here is the report) It should be noted that while there is a correlation between these factors and the victims of violent crime, the causal relationship isn’t as clear.

The take-away from all of this? We live in a relatively safe society.  Being aware of our surroundings, avoiding bad neighborhoods, and making wise decisions can greatly reduce our risk. The chances are, if we pay attention, most of us will never need to use our physical martial art skills to defend ourselves nor our loved ones from violence. Where we live, and who we associate with can further improve those odds.

Be smart, be safe, and train hard.

See you on the mats.

Run Like a Warrior

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While attending my daughter’s cross country meet this past weekend, I got to thinking about how this sport correlates to life in general. Sport reflects a microcosm of our human experience. Whether one’s sport of choice is running, soccer, baseball, or Brazilian Jiu-jitsu, we can identify the same truths within the confines of the sport and extend it into our world view.

At the high-school level, a full cross-section of humanity can be seen participating in cross country; from kids knocking off a hilly 5k with sub five minute miles, to others who have to walk part of their flat, two mile course. There are long, lean gazelles, and short, squat, bull-dogs; kids who are incredibly conditioned, and others who, let’s just say, are working on it. There are highly organized, well-trained teams, and there are other loosely knit teams, seemingly ad hoc in their approach.

While there are particular physical traits that lend themselves to the sport, there’s no denying the psychology of running. When you’re running your fastest, it doesn’t matter how fit you are, you’re going to reach a point where your body wants to quit, and you have to will yourself to continue. It’s fascinating to witness this in a race, as some of the runners fight to win, while others fade, seemingly accepting their fate.

In the end, the top of the field is made up of well-trained, fierce competitors who generally have the genetic gifts of a runner. However there are always a few up in the front who don’t fit the stereotypical mold, and plenty of naturally “gifted” folks in the back of the pack, people who look like they should be able to fly across the course, yet end up running with the masses. So while natural attributes are helpful, these alone are not enough. Proper preparation (training) and the will to succeed are the constants one always finds in the winners’ circle.

Here are my take-aways from cross country/BJJ/life….

  1. You can’t change the past. We all start where/when we start; rich or poor, good genes or bad, great upbringing or not. None of us has the ability to travel back and get a do-over. Blaming your ancestors for the genes they passed down, or your parents for the way you were raised are both pointless. Don’t waste your time and energy worrying about what you can’t change.
  2. Surround yourself with a good team and/or mentor. There are plenty of people out there with similar interests and goals. These are the people you should be spending your time with. When your friends are saying, “take a day off, let’s go play,” your teammates are saying, “let’s go train, and play later.” They can give you the guidance, support, and motivation needed to stay the course and achieve your goals.
  3. Recognize your strengths, and build from there. Each of us is a unique combination of strengths, weaknesses, skills, and knowledge. Find your niche, and expand it. Look for opportunities to use your specific set of skills/traits to your advantage. (If you’re one of those fortunate enough to have great genes, be thankful, but don’t “rest on your laurels.”)
  4. Put in the work. There’s no escaping this one. No amount of natural talent can make up for a truck-load of  well-planned, hard work. All of that work conditions the body and mind like nothing else can.
  5. Break down large goals into smaller, more recognizable ones. If you find yourself in the middle of the pack way behind the lead runner, focus instead, on the runner in front of you. Pass them. Move on to the next. Keep mowing them down as you fight toward the front. Which brings us to the final point…
  6. Find the warrior within. For those who are competitive by nature, congratulations. For the rest, discover what makes you burn inside, what gives you passion, what inspires you to strive at “no matter the cost” levels. Because here’s the thing; at some point everybody gets tired. At some point legs turn to rubber, hearts want to explode, and lungs burn for more oxygen. At this point, the field fades, but the warriors forge on ahead.

See you all on the mats!

Management

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Last week we talked a bit about the business model as it relates to our personal lives. This week, we’d like to touch on the second part of the model: Management. Management is in charge of developing a plan to achieve the desired goal, and guiding the progress along the way. If management does a poor job, then the organization is inefficient, or completely ineffective in achieving the goal.

Organization triangle

Once you’ve established the big picture, or your vision, it’s time for “management” to figure out a plan of action. How are you going to get where you’re going? What steps must you take in order to bring your dream to fruition? Will it take you weeks, months, or years?

In order to check your progress, this roadmap should have some measurable goals, or checkpoints, along the way. Break down big goals into smaller, more easily achievable ones. If your goal is a week out, you may need daily goals; if a year out, perhaps monthly checkpoints are in order. However you decide to do it, these checkpoints are vital, as they help you make sure you’re on the right path, and are powerful motivators.

Your plan should also be flexible. It’s good to have some contingency plans, because sometimes “life happens.” Unforeseen circumstances, if not adjusted to, can disrupt our pursuits. Without flexibility, it’s difficult to adjust to the change and continue moving forward. Recognize when circumstances change, modify your plan accordingly, and stay the course.

Finally, surround yourself with like-minded people, both peers and mentors. There’s nothing quite as uplifting as the support from a group of folks who are traveling the same path, and experiencing the same trials and tribulations. Finding a mentor can provide the guidance and reassurance needed to stay focused on your journey.

All of this planning is a critical step in the process of being successful. Not only does it help you be more efficient, and effective, but knowing you have a well thought-out plan helps keep you motivated along the way!

The Junior Jujiteiros and Adult Level 1 classes will be focusing on a number of sweeps from the closed guard this week.

See you all on the mats!

What’s your Vision?

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Behind every successful organization one will find three essential roles that helped lead to victory. Whether a multi-national corporation with thousands of employees, or a sole proprietor, Leadership, Management, and Labor are all necessary parts of the whole. Without any one of the three, an organization will struggle to accomplish it’s intended goals, and more than likely fail all together.

Organization triangle

This business model applies just as well to each and every one of us as individuals. The better we are at embracing all three roles in our personal lives, the better we are at achieving our goals. You have to be your own CEO, Manager, and Laborer.

Leadership provides the ultimate goal, product, or Vision of an organization. Without this, there is no business to begin with. These are the folks that dream big, look for opportunity, and envision the final outcome.

So what is your vision? What do you want to do with your life? Each of us needs to take the time to dream, and decide what it is we want for ourselves. As the leader of your life, you have to ask yourself the eternal question, “What do I want to be when I grow up?” Starting big and general, work your way into a more well-defined, specific picture. Where do you want to live? Profession? Education? Married/single/family?

You have chosen to pursue this Brazilian jiujitsu thing. What does that mean to you? Do you want to get in better shape? Learn to defend yourself? Have fun? Become a world champion? Your goals are yours alone. However, as a member of our school, you’re surrounded by like-minded souls on similar paths. We can all help each other achieve success, however each of us may define it. What is your vision?

We’ll be talking about this life-skill in the kids classes this week. We’re going to work on a few ways to break the opponent’s closed guard in the kid’s classes and the Adult Level 1 classes.

See you on the mats!

Obrigado

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At the end of every class, the students and instructor bow, and repeat the school motto, “Força e Honra,” or Strength and Honor. We then shake hands, and thank one another with an “Obrigado/a.” Obrigado is short for the more formal Eu sou obrigado, or “I am obliged.”

While this little ritual will become part of the daily routine, with the tendency for participants to simply go through the motions, the hope is that this demonstration of gratitude helps remind us to be thankful for our time on the mat. Obviously we want to thank our teachers and training partners, for without them we wouldn’t be training in jiu-jitsu. We’re also quite fortunate to train in the facilities we have. Ask Cassio some time about the canvas mats he used to train on in Brazil!

As a parent, I’m keenly aware of how vital the idea of gratitude is. We are bringing our children up in a time and place of unbelievable wealth and prosperity. Living here in the burbs of NorCal means we have immediate access to food 24 hours a day. Today’s children have television, the internet, smart phones, and swimming pools, while living in houses with running water, flush toilets, and a/c. Needless to say, such a luxurious lifestyle is lost upon someone who knows no different, which makes it easy for people to be unappreciative. Honestly, which one of us doesn’t take these things for granted?

Consider the early immigrants to this country, or to what was at one time simply thirteen colonies. Those people left Europe with nothing, risked a months-long ship ride, starving conditions, exposure to new diseases, knowing there was little to no infrastructure awaiting them. They came with nothing, knowing it was all on them to make a new life for themselves. If they wanted a house, they had to build it. If they wanted to eat, they had to hunt or harvest it. There was no safety net, no agency, for them to fall back on. Can you imagine how they would perceive the world we now live in, with the comforts we take for granted?

This week we will be discussing Obrigado in the children’s classes, as well as having an “attitude of gratitude.”

Last week we focused on passing the guard and knee-on-stomach in the children’s classes and the Adult Level 1. This week we’ll be looking at the other side. We’re going to work on re-constituing the guard, as well as some basic attacks from closed guard.

Cassio and his family are returning from Brazil this week, so you can expect to see him back on the mats soon! Many thanks (Muito Obrigado) to Dan Goodwin, Mark Kamizaki, Dan Martin, and Sean McCandless, who all did a great job covering his classes while he was away.

See you all on the mat!