Priorities

As a full-time dad AND a full-time business owner, I am scrambling to take care of everything  which the two jobs demand, and still make the time to train as much as I should. When I was a younger man, I would just sleep a lot less, but I’m finding that isn’t an option any more. So I’ve got to re-examine my time management, and this means taking a look at my priorities. A tool I use comes from The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People by Stephen Covey.

There is more “self-help” literature out there than any mere mortal could ever hope to read, and just like all of the dietary and/or fitness advice also available in bulk, much of it simply rehashes what’s already been said. It’s essentially 100,000 different variations of the basics, repackaged in an attempt to cash in on a booming industry. That being said,  Stephen Covey is one that I highly recommend.  His is a basic treatise on the fundamentals of succeeding in whatever endeavor you choose to pursue. It’s been years since I’ve read it, but I make reference to it on a regular basis, when I’m teaching my children, when I’m coaching an athlete, or when I need to re-up my own game.

His time-management system of four quadrants is a great way to break down activities, and best organize one’s time. Being a parent of three children, there’s quite a bit of time spent in Quadrant 1 that is unavoidable, and this list of “needs to be done right now” can be tiring because of it’s urgency. With foresight and planning, however, we can lessen the severity of this. That means effectively spending more time in Quadrant 2. As the girls mature, and can better plan their activities, homework, chores, etc. we find ourselves eliminating many of the crises in Quadrant 1.

matrix-for-job-aidsI am constantly guilty of the simple pleasures that come from participating in Quadrant 4. This is when our whimsical wants of the moment take up our precious time, and keep us from accomplishing what is truly important. My weakness is reading. I continually allow myself to get sucked into yet another topic that I realize I don’t know enough about. I buy a few books on the subject, and dive in.

It’s easy to justify all of the reading I do in the name of self improvement. The real issue, however, is the timelines of that reading. If it’s interfering with other things that I’ve made a priority, then I need to do it another time. I have to re-examine my priorities, or as Covey so succinctly states in his third habit, “Put first things, first.”  Then I need to make sure I’m minimizing the types of activities found in Quadrant 4.

How is your time management helping you achieve your dreams?

See you on the mat!

Clean Your Room

As parents, we’ve all been there. “How many times do I need to remind these kids to clean up their stuff?” I have to laugh at myself when I hear the discussion between my daughters and I – the same discussion I had with my mom some four decades ago. I’m guessing it’s probably the same discussion she had with her parents, and sounds identical to the one our daughters may someday have with their children. The rooms always end up a mess, and we adults always demand they be cleaned. Round and round it goes.

I’ve come to care a bit less about how tidy the girls’ rooms are on a daily basis. They can make as big of a mess as they like, knowing that eventually the place will need a good cleaning, and it’s their responsibility to do it. I think it’s vital for children to learn this at an early age, because this simple act reinforces a larger ideal. The concept is fundamental to being successful, and to being a good citizen. Each of us must hold ourselves accountable for the mess we make, and be responsible enough to clean it up.

Have you ever attempted to park while shopping, only to find a shopping cart blocking the spot? The inconvenience of finding another spot, or getting out and moving the cart represent the cost you pay, albeit minor, for another persons actions. Ever notice how many carts are left out? Or how often people leave garbage in them? The increased work-hours spent collecting, cleaning, and returning them to the store represent an expense for the business, and thus will be reflected in a higher cost (once again, to you) of the goods sold.

I often see frail older people essentially using the cart as a walking aid, or harried moms simultaneously trying to load their groceries and their hoard of kids into their minivan.  These are instances when I’m personally willing to absorb the costs for their sake. In fact, I’ll volunteer to take the cart back if I’m headed to the store.

On the other hand, most of the carts are left haphazardly by completely able-bodied folks apparently too busy to be bothered. Perhaps they consider the increased cost incurred by their actions to be a convenience fee. Maybe they figure they’re creating jobs for some low-wage, entry level positions. Personally, I can’t help but wonder whether their parents made them clean their room.

Such evaluation of the costs/benefits of our actions is a big part of being civically minded. Taking the time to consider how our actions affect those around us makes us more aware of our role in our community. By striving to be better friends, neighbors, daughters, sons, fathers, mothers, and teammates, we can be a “force for good.” We can positively effect the communities in which we live.

“Leave no trace”

One of my favorite pastimes is backpacking. I love being out in the middle of “nowhere,” and the solitude that comes with it. There’s something very empowering about hiking two to three days into the wilderness, and knowing that it’s all on you; everything you need, from your water to your food, to your shelter, and even your first aid. You are solely responsible for taking care of yourself and getting yourself back out again.

You’re also responsible for packing out everything you took in.

Being completely surrounded by the sounds and smells of the mountains is an amazingly refreshing and rejuvenating break from the noisy hustle and bustle of our suburban existence. Even though there’s always a hint along the way of those who’ve come before, i.e. the trail, campsites, fire rings, there’s not much other evidence of fellow hikers. A large part of the ambience of the wilderness is this absence of human debris, and it’s a disheartening distraction when you come upon somebody’s discarded granola bar wrapper. Part of the ethic of backpacking is cleaning up after yourself, so that those who come after can enjoy the same “pristine” feel that nature has to offer. In backpacking we say,“Pack it in, pack it out.”

What’s in it for me?

There’s more to be learned from cleaning our rooms than a basic civics lesson. It also helps us develop the habit of holding ourselves accountable. For example, instead of a messy room, let’s say a person finds themselves a mess. They haven’t taken good care of themselves for a couple decades. They’re out of shape, overweight, have terrible eating habits, and along with the onset of middle age, they find out they’ve got high blood pressure and pre-diabetes.

Many folks find themselves in such a predicament and blame a plethora of external factors for their fate. Not only do they point the finger in every direction imaginable to lay blame, but they also sit around, waiting for somebody else to fix the problem. They never learned the lesson behind cleaning their own room. Because of this, they will never be able to achieve any level of success.

People who learn to clean their own room learn to take care of their own affairs. They learn to take responsibility for their actions. They acknowledge the mess they’ve created, and take steps to fix it. In the event they inherit a messy room not of their own doing, they don’t waste time pointing fingers. They get busy cleaning up the mess.

How clean is your “room?”

See you on the mats.

 

Constant and Never-Ending Improvement

With fall here, I am once again engaged in all of the projects that come with the change of seasons: fall pruning, garden winterizing, gutter cleaning, and halloween decorating. Such manual labor provides plenty of time to think, and I find myself, as I do with every transformation of the seasons, ruminating on the change that is constant in our lives – spring to summer, summer to fall, and so on, cycling back around to start all over again.  This circular perspective of such repetitive labor can feed into the misconception that we, too, are just running in circles.

It’s really more of a spiral, isn’t it?

 

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A little girl with a dog, in the back yard in October, and yet…

As we cycle through the annum, circling back around in the all-too-familiar pattern, we also become older, having experienced yet one more year that we will never see again. In this fashion, the circle of the seasons becomes the spiral of our lives. So I ask myself, “as we’re spiraling through life, are we spiraling upward or down, forward or back?”

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Same little girl, same dog, in the same back yard in October.

The Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) lifestyle offers many “tools” that can help us direct our own personal spiral in the direction we choose. The martial arts have long recognized the ideals of courtesy and respect, self-discipline and humility, patience and commitment as being vital to a healthy, successful, and ultimately happy life. We find these ideals espoused in the ancient Budo Code of the Samurai and the concept of Chivalry from Europe’s knights in the Middle Ages. Read any self-help book today, and one will find a re-hashing of the same, time-tested truths.

Perhaps the most important concept, and the one I believe binds all of the other ideals together is embodied in C.A.N.I., a term coined by Tony RobbinsConstant And Never-ending Improvement should be ingrained in our lifestyle. We should be taking every opportunity to improve physically, spiritually, and intellectually. Just as we train daily to hone our martial art skills, so too, should we be fine-tuning the other areas of our lives.

We should be furthering our understanding of the world around us in every way possible. Being a voracious reader should be near the top of our to-do list. Podcasts can be a great source of thought provoking ideas. Taking classes at the local university/college, or participating in work-related seminars & conferences can also be sources of growth. Take every opportunity to learn and grow, to be motivated or inspired. These sources, together with a healthy peer group (see last weeks post) can help us stay motivated and on course to achieve our goals, and enjoy the good life.

It is a mistake to think that at some point in our lives we get to coast. Only if we are continually striving to be the best person we can, will we ever experience our true potential. We should be striving to be the best version of ourselves possible; as a parent, as a spouse, as an employee, as a neighbor, and as a citizen.

See you on the mats!

 

Management

Last week we talked a bit about the business model as it relates to our personal lives. This week, we’d like to touch on the second part of the model: Management. Management is in charge of developing a plan to achieve the desired goal, and guiding the progress along the way. If management does a poor job, then the organization is inefficient, or completely ineffective in achieving the goal.

Organization triangle

Once you’ve established the big picture, or your vision, it’s time for “management” to figure out a plan of action. How are you going to get where you’re going? What steps must you take in order to bring your dream to fruition? Will it take you weeks, months, or years?

In order to check your progress, this roadmap should have some measurable goals, or checkpoints, along the way. Break down big goals into smaller, more easily achievable ones. If your goal is a week out, you may need daily goals; if a year out, perhaps monthly checkpoints are in order. However you decide to do it, these checkpoints are vital, as they help you make sure you’re on the right path, and are powerful motivators.

Your plan should also be flexible. It’s good to have some contingency plans, because sometimes “life happens.” Unforeseen circumstances, if not adjusted to, can disrupt our pursuits. Without flexibility, it’s difficult to adjust to the change and continue moving forward. Recognize when circumstances change, modify your plan accordingly, and stay the course.

Finally, surround yourself with like-minded people, both peers and mentors. There’s nothing quite as uplifting as the support from a group of folks who are traveling the same path, and experiencing the same trials and tribulations. Finding a mentor can provide the guidance and reassurance needed to stay focused on your journey.

All of this planning is a critical step in the process of being successful. Not only does it help you be more efficient, and effective, but knowing you have a well thought-out plan helps keep you motivated along the way!


The Junior Jujiteiros and Adult Level 1 classes will be focusing on a number of sweeps from the closed guard this week.

See you all on the mats!

What’s your Vision?

Behind every successful organization one will find three essential roles that helped lead to victory. Whether a multi-national corporation with thousands of employees, or a sole proprietor, Leadership, Management, and Labor are all necessary parts of the whole. Without any one of the three, an organization will struggle to accomplish it’s intended goals, and more than likely fail all together.

Organization triangle

This business model applies just as well to each and every one of us as individuals. The better we are at embracing all three roles in our personal lives, the better we are at achieving our goals. You have to be your own CEO, Manager, and Laborer.

Leadership provides the ultimate goal, product, or Vision of an organization. Without this, there is no business to begin with. These are the folks that dream big, look for opportunity, and envision the final outcome.

So what is your vision? What do you want to do with your life? Each of us needs to take the time to dream, and decide what it is we want for ourselves. As the leader of your life, you have to ask yourself the eternal question, “What do I want to be when I grow up?” Starting big and general, work your way into a more well-defined, specific picture. Where do you want to live? Profession? Education? Married/single/family?

You have chosen to pursue this Brazilian jiujitsu thing. What does that mean to you? Do you want to get in better shape? Learn to defend yourself? Have fun? Become a world champion? Your goals are yours alone. However, as a member of our school, you’re surrounded by like-minded souls on similar paths. We can all help each other achieve success, however each of us may define it. What is your vision?

We’ll be talking about this life-skill in the kids classes this week. We’re going to work on a few ways to break the opponent’s closed guard in the kid’s classes and the Adult Level 1 classes.

See you on the mats!

Happy Independence Day!

(Note: We will be closed Tuesday, July 4 in observance of Independence Day)

The month of July brings us into our fourth week since opening. It’s been a whirlwind, with classes in full swing, many little build-out projects still being completed, and firming up all the behind-the-scenes, administrative tasks that are needed to keep the place humming like a well-oiled machine. All of this is set against the back-drop of being a family man; making time for family to enjoy the girls’ summer break can’t be forgotten, even in the midst of all the chaos.

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These guys are working on their game this summer. What are you doing?

You parents know: family life is busy. Maintaining a household, with all the cooking, cleaning, and laundry is a full-time gig. Throw in the daily shuttle service, transporting the kids to and from school/ballet/baseball/gymnastics/piano, and you’ve got a sixteen hour workday. All the while, we’re trying to raise our children the best we can, and hoping we don’t mess them up too much.

Why would ANYBODY ever consider operating a small business while raising a family? Small business owners wear the hats of CEO, Manager, and Employee, and the responsibilities that come with each position. There is no time clock to punch. You carry the job with you everywhere. Even if surrounded by a great team, as the person in charge it’s all on you and the decisions you make. So when you’re not at work, in the back of your mind, you’re still running through the list. “What needs to be done?” What did I forget to do?” “Can we pay rent and make payroll?” “Have I done everything I can?” “What can I do better?”

I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love the challenge of making a martial art school successful. It’s a ton of work, but seeing all the pieces “fall” into place, creating a positive environment for families and their children, seeing the students have fun while growing into strong healthy adults, (or adults who get stronger and healthier) and being part of a winning team is worth all the effort and risk.

Some people think I’m crazy. Still others get it.

The fact of the matter is, not everybody is meant to be a parent, just as some people are not wired to be in business for themselves. We human beings really are a diverse lot, with varying skills, perspectives, strengths, frailties, and desires. This diversity is our greatest strength, in my opinion, for it is through that broad filter that we, as a species, continue to come up with improved ways of getting the job of living done.

Allowing for this diversity has been one of the reasons for the United States’ continued success. We are a beacon of freedom and prosperity. People continue to come here from around the globe for those two, inextricably intertwined ideals. The Wernecks are shining examples of this dream. They were able to immigrate here and make a good life for their family, passing on Cassio’s expertise in, and passion for, the art of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. This is what makes our nation great.

When the Founding Fathers ratified The Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, they understood the value of the individual, and the importance of freedom.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.”

We hope you enjoy the National Holiday. While you’re celebrating The 4th of July this week, please take a moment to contemplate the magnitude of what it’s all about.