Predator or Prey?

Posted on by moderndayzendaddy

In this third installment on the “ABC’s of Self Defense,” we’re going to look at communication.  Communication plays a critical role in prevention. It can also be used strategically to de-escalate a situation, or provide an opportunity to improve one’s position.

Being the social creatures we are, we communicate constantly. While we are generally aware of what we say when we speak, we oftentimes overlook what we’re communicating non-verbally. Our posture, our gaze, how we dress, walk, and talk, all tell a story. The story can be one of awareness, strength, and confidence. It can also be a tale of distraction, weakness, or fear.

Predators pick up on these subtle nuances. In this regard, they are avid readers. They are looking for victims; people who’s story, or profile, says, “pick me, I’ll panic, and submit to your terms without much trouble.” If they suspect a person is going to resist, they are more than likely going to look elsewhere. They are looking for the easy prey.

Just as we need to practice our tactical breathing, so too should we take the time to consider how we present ourselves. What habits and/or characteristics do we need to develop, or change, in order to not fit the victim profile? Standing tall, walking with a purpose, being aware of those around you, and paying attention to one’s surroundings are the traits of a strong, confident individual. Slumped shoulders, and a downward gaze signal a lack of confidence. The distant, glazed look of someone lost in thought, or being glued to a smartphone both represent a person who could be caught off guard, and shocked into submission.

Our verbal response to confrontation must communicate the same message. The words we use, and the tone we speak with, should convey strength and assertiveness, but not aggression. This requires speaking in a deliberate, but not angry/fearful tone, and using very clear, direct words. Here are some guidelines for verbally communicating in the early stages of a confrontation.

  • Make statements in a strong, confident voice. This helps control one’s emotions as well as the tone of the engagement.
  • Don’t scream, call names, or use foul/abusive language. Not only does this increase our autonomic response (remember why breathing is so important?), but will likely escalate the situation.
  • Speak in the first person. This helps avoid blaming, judging, or attacking the other person, which can again increase tensions. For example,  “I don’t want you coming any closer.”
  • Name the specific behavior that is offensive. For example, “I don’t want you to speak to me like that, it makes me feel bad.”

Developing all of these tools through thoughtful study and practice can help us be more safe. The knowledge that we have properly prepared ourselves, in turn, leads to more confidence. This decreases the odds of ever being accosted in the first place, and gives us a greater ability to de-escalate the situation in the event we ever are.

Are you training to be a Lion, or a lamb?

Be Calm and Breathe

Posted on by moderndayzendaddy

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

-Frank Herbert, Dune 

(It’s a work of fiction, I know, but this mantra has stuck with me since I read it in my youth, so here it is.)

Last week we started our discussion of the “ABC’s of Self Defense” in which we talked about Awareness. Awareness, of course, is the tool we use to avoid danger, minimize the risk of encountering it, or enable ourselves to see it coming when unavoidable. This week we’re going to begin looking at strategies for dealing with the complexities of confrontation.

Fear is a natural reaction to any given set of stimuli perceived as dangerous or potentially so. We’ve all experienced it to one degree or another; standing on the edge of a high precipice, being in an automobile accident, preparing to ride a roller-coaster, or the seemingly universal fear of speaking in front of a large number of our peers. Don’t feel bad. The increased heart rate, sweaty palms, shaky hands, and pit in your stomach are all results of your autonomic nervous system doing it’s job.

Fear is a healthy tool for survival. It reminds us to avoid danger, or to proceed with caution when in doubt. It can stimulate us to action in order to protect ourselves; whether to fight or to flee. The adrenaline leads to an increased heart-rate, and heavier breathing, making us stronger and faster. It focuses our vision and hearing, blocking out extraneous distractions. Fear can also render us incapable of rational thought, intelligible communication, or fine-motor skills. It can distort our vision and our erase our memory.  It can incapacitate us, leaving us frozen in our tracks, unable to decide what to do or which way to go. Therefore it is vital we learn to control our fear, and make it work for us, as it should. The key to this control lies in something as simple as our breathing.

Tactical breathing, or combat breathing, refers to a technique used in the military and law-enforcement to reign in our fear, so to speak. It is not unique to these agencies, however, as it is also taught in martial arts, yoga, and even the Lamaze technique. It is a way we can moderate our autonomic nervous system’s response, keeping it in a range that benefits us the most for the circumstances at hand. By controlling our respiratory response, we can stay “in the zone” of optimal performance.

As with all self-defense skills, this is one we should practice at every opportunity, in order to assure we have access to it under the most dire of circumstances. When you feel yourself getting “stressed out” before an exam – breathe. When you sense your anger rising during a discussion/argument – breathe. When you’re warming up before a competition – breathe. When you’re fixing your belt between rounds in a jiu-jitsu class – breathe

While breathing itself isn’t rocket science, here’s a basic method for reigning in your autonomic nervous system, and thereby your fear. As you practice and develop this skill, you’ll find a count that works best for you. In the meantime, just remember “4 X 4:”

  1. Inhale for a count of four.
  2. Hold it for a count of four.
  3. Exhale for a count of four.
  4. Hold it for a count of four.

Repeat four times.

See you on the mat!

(**For a more thorough understanding of stress in combat, check out Lt. Col. Dave Grossman’s On Combat. Every serious martial artist should put this book on top of their must-read list.)

 

Self Defense 101

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In Brazilian Jiujitsu, we spend the vast majority of our time learning and playing the game of BJJ. Being a great player requires, among other things, a thorough understanding of both offense and defense, of move and counter-move. One needs to understand their personal strengths and weaknesses, and ideally, those of their opponent as well. Understanding the rules of engagement is also a must. In this manner, once again, sport provides a great corollary to life. As martial artists, it is incumbent upon us to prepare ourselves for battle, to be prepared to protect ourselves and our families. Part of this preparation is in knowing all we can about our opponents and the battlefield. Against whom, and for what should we be prepared?

The media would have us believe that there is violence around every corner, but for the vast majority of Americans, this simply isn’t the case. While 2015 and 2016 both witnessed slight upticks in violent crime, they are still part of an overall downward trend since the early 1990’s. Whether these slight increases are the beginning of a return upward, or just anomalies on a continued decline, only time will tell.

vcrimechart

It’s important to remember that while these numbers represent the national average, there are large geographic variations. (Here’s the FBI’s breakdown for 2015 by metropolitan area.) What is striking about this recent increase, for example, is that it is not widespread throughout the country, but is occurring predominantly in particular major metropolitan areas. Not only that, but digging a bit deeper into the stats, we find it’s focused in particular areas/neighborhoods within any given city. (Here’s an interesting look at cities, broken down further into individual neighborhoods)

One’s odds of victimization also correlate with such factors as age, married status, and income levels. For example, in 2015, people between the ages of 12-24 were victims of violent crime much more frequently than older age groups. Married people experienced a relatively low level while separated people had the highest. Economics also plays a role: the lower the household income, the higher the odds of being a victim. (here is the report) It should be noted that while there is a correlation between these factors and the victims of violent crime, the causal relationship isn’t as clear.

The take-away from all of this? We live in a relatively safe society.  Being aware of our surroundings, avoiding bad neighborhoods, and making wise decisions can greatly reduce our risk. The chances are, if we pay attention, most of us will never need to use our physical martial art skills to defend ourselves nor our loved ones from violence. Where we live, and who we associate with can further improve those odds.

Be smart, be safe, and train hard.

See you on the mats.

Run Like a Warrior

Posted on by moderndayzendaddy

While attending my daughter’s cross country meet this past weekend, I got to thinking about how this sport correlates to life in general. Sport reflects a microcosm of our human experience. Whether one’s sport of choice is running, soccer, baseball, or Brazilian Jiu-jitsu, we can identify the same truths within the confines of the sport and extend it into our world view.

At the high-school level, a full cross-section of humanity can be seen participating in cross country; from kids knocking off a hilly 5k with sub five minute miles, to others who have to walk part of their flat, two mile course. There are long, lean gazelles, and short, squat, bull-dogs; kids who are incredibly conditioned, and others who, let’s just say, are working on it. There are highly organized, well-trained teams, and there are other loosely knit teams, seemingly ad hoc in their approach.

While there are particular physical traits that lend themselves to the sport, there’s no denying the psychology of running. When you’re running your fastest, it doesn’t matter how fit you are, you’re going to reach a point where your body wants to quit, and you have to will yourself to continue. It’s fascinating to witness this in a race, as some of the runners fight to win, while others fade, seemingly accepting their fate.

In the end, the top of the field is made up of well-trained, fierce competitors who generally have the genetic gifts of a runner. However there are always a few up in the front who don’t fit the stereotypical mold, and plenty of naturally “gifted” folks in the back of the pack, people who look like they should be able to fly across the course, yet end up running with the masses. So while natural attributes are helpful, these alone are not enough. Proper preparation (training) and the will to succeed are the constants one always finds in the winners’ circle.

Here are my take-aways from cross country/BJJ/life….

  1. You can’t change the past. We all start where/when we start; rich or poor, good genes or bad, great upbringing or not. None of us has the ability to travel back and get a do-over. Blaming your ancestors for the genes they passed down, or your parents for the way you were raised are both pointless. Don’t waste your time and energy worrying about what you can’t change.
  2. Surround yourself with a good team and/or mentor. There are plenty of people out there with similar interests and goals. These are the people you should be spending your time with. When your friends are saying, “take a day off, let’s go play,” your teammates are saying, “let’s go train, and play later.” They can give you the guidance, support, and motivation needed to stay the course and achieve your goals.
  3. Recognize your strengths, and build from there. Each of us is a unique combination of strengths, weaknesses, skills, and knowledge. Find your niche, and expand it. Look for opportunities to use your specific set of skills/traits to your advantage. (If you’re one of those fortunate enough to have great genes, be thankful, but don’t “rest on your laurels.”)
  4. Put in the work. There’s no escaping this one. No amount of natural talent can make up for a truck-load of  well-planned, hard work. All of that work conditions the body and mind like nothing else can.
  5. Break down large goals into smaller, more recognizable ones. If you find yourself in the middle of the pack way behind the lead runner, focus instead, on the runner in front of you. Pass them. Move on to the next. Keep mowing them down as you fight toward the front. Which brings us to the final point…
  6. Find the warrior within. For those who are competitive by nature, congratulations. For the rest, discover what makes you burn inside, what gives you passion, what inspires you to strive at “no matter the cost” levels. Because here’s the thing; at some point everybody gets tired. At some point legs turn to rubber, hearts want to explode, and lungs burn for more oxygen. At this point, the field fades, but the warriors forge on ahead.

See you all on the mats!

Teamwork

Posted on by moderndayzendaddy

This weekend, while Cassio and the rest of Team Werneck were competing in Las Vegas, my daughter and I participated in The 2017 Hood To Coast Relay, which covers the nearly 200 miles from Mt. Hood, the tallest peak in Oregon, to Seaside, OR, on the Pacific coast. It’s a tremendous event that draws 12,600 runners from around the world and raises over $500,000 annually for cancer research and patient programs at The Providence Cancer Center.

The 199 mile course starts at 6000′ on the side of Mt. Hood, at Timberline Lodge. (remember the hotel in The Shining?) It drops down out of the Cascade Mountains through small towns in the coastal forest on it’s way to the city of Portland, where it makes it’s way through the city.  The course then meanders down (and back up, and down again) mountain roads and small highways as it crosses the Oregon Coast Range on it’s way to Seaside.

We didn’t run the entire course alone, but were part of the 12 member team Run or Die. Each member runs three legs of the 199 miles, with the legs varying from about 4 – 8 miles in length. Each team of 12 is divided into two vans of six, and these also rotate through, with van 1 covering legs 1-6, van 2 covering 7 – 12, and so on. Once a runner is done with their “leg,” they pass of to the next, and then jump in the van to get to the next exchange ahead of their teammate. So what you end up with is a half dozen tired, hungry, sweaty people piled into a vehicle over about a 30 hour period. Such conditions are a true test of teamwork, not simply in sharing the task of running 200 miles, but also in cooperating with everyone and supporting one another, while hungry, sleep-deprived, dirty, and cramped in a confined space.

Also consider the logistics of putting on this race. 1,050 teams translates to 2,100 team vehicles, and 12,600 runners converging within the constraints of the course over a short 30+ hour period. 3,600 volunteers work the exchanges, stand at intersections to keep the runners on course, and direct the traffic all along the way. Don’t forget about the Honey Buckets – approximately 600 porta-potties can be found at each of the 36 exchanges, and the Honey Bucket trucks can always be seen, maintaining such vital equipment.

Such an event simply wouldn’t be possible without the combined efforts of everybody involved. While individuals can accomplish great things, an individual’s capacity pales in comparison to what is possible when people work together.

“Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishments toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.” –Andrew Carnegie

 

 

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Congratulations to everybody who competed at the World Master Jiu-Jitsu Championship in Las Vegas, NV this past weekend! Team Werneck was well represented by all who competed, as well as the teammates who were there to support them.

  • Cassio Werneck – Gold
  • Derek DiManno
  • Jaime Jara – Silver
  • Steven Anderson
  • Brandon Heath
  • Juan Punsalan
  • Nick Ramirez

 

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REMINDER: We will be closed this Saturday and the following Monday in observance of Labor Day. Have a great weekend celebrating with family and friends!

Integrity

Posted on by moderndayzendaddy

Last week while waiting for the gas pump to signal mission completion with it’s customary click-thump, I heard the sound of crinkling wrappers, which drew my attention to three teenage boys leaving the station with the candy they had bought. It was a common enough scene for the burbs, but as I had nothing better to do, I amused myself with watching them stroll across the lot bound for the mall; three young guys, one fair-skinned with the acne of adolence, another with his boxers prominently displayed out of the top of his over-sized shorts, and the third with his baseball cap askew. I reminisced on my own youthful years of insecurity, as I and my friends tried to appear to be the men we just hadn’t yet become. Then it happened; fair-skinned boy nonchalantly hung his arm by his side, took a subtle look to the left and right, and with no-one in sight, dropped his wrapper in the middle of the street.

This seemingly insignificant act said volumes about that boy’s character. Obviously, he doesn’t really care about how his debris might effect the rest of the citizens he shares this community with. I’m sure the argument would be something about how “it’s just a little wrapper.” Surely we all can see the fallacy of this line of reasoning; the results of such individual acts lead to the truck-loads of garbage we see lining the fences and hedge-rows all along our roadways.

What is truly striking to me, however, is the fact that he looked around to see if anybody was watching before he dropped his wrapper. This demonstrated that while he may not have cared about how his actions impacted the rest of us, he was aware of the unacceptability of his act, but was still willing to do it, so long as no one witnessed it! This young boy is lacking a key component of an honorable citizen: Integrity.

Integrity is defined as “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.” It also means “the state of being whole and undivided.” Therefore, it’s not just about being honest and telling the truth, but about being consistent, in both actions and words, with that truth. In his book Shattering the Glass Slipper, Charles Marshall wrote,

“Integrity is doing the right thing when you don’t have to – when no one else is looking or will ever know – when there will be no congratulations or recognition for having done so.”

Warriors have recognized for eons the importance of a moral code to balance the violent nature of such a class. The Bushido code of the Samurai, and the Code of Chivalry from medieval Europe both espoused a moral code which emphasized Integrity. Today, each branch of our modern military has a code of conduct, and each includes the concept of Integrity. Our martial art schools should be no different. It is our obligation as martial artists to live up to such a code as well, otherwise we run the risk of becoming nothing more than thugs with skills.

As parents and coaches, our integrity is vital to our success in teaching our children and students. If our message isn’t consistent with how we lead our lives, they will soon come to see the hypocrisy, and then confidence in our teaching will be eroded. We must maintain the integrity of our art, our school, and our families. We need to lead by example. We need to “walk the talk.”

We need to have integrity.

This weekend is the World Master Jiu-Jitsu IBJJF Championship in Las Vegas. Good luck to Cassio Werneck, Derek DiManno, Jaime Jara, Steven Anderson, Brandon Heath, Juan Punsalan, and Nicholas Ramirez –  GO TEAM WERNECK!

ALSO PLEASE NOTE: The 6:00 a.m class will be cancelled this Friday (8/25) and Monday (8/28)!

Grit

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It is said that, “Life is hard.” Even within the context of our modern era, and all the luxuries that we enjoy these days, there are those who succeed and those who fail, those who appear to have it pretty easy and those who struggle. On this spectrum one can find families who are financially secure and those who struggle to make rent, or world-class athletes alongside poor folks who are too obese to get out of bed.

There are many factors that lead to such disparity. Many are out of our control, such as our genetic predisposition, or where we were born, whether geographically, or socio-economically. As I’m continually reminding my children, fretting about these things is a waste of time and energy. Focus instead, on the things you can do something about, and get busy doing something about them. In this regard, Life is hard – it requires a concerted effort over a long period of time in order to achieve higher levels of success.

Take world-class athletes as an example. Ask anybody who has competed at the World-Championship or Olympic level in any sport and they will tell you the same thing. It is a long, hard road. Having some talent doesn’t hurt, but at the end it’s about who is willing to put in the long, hard hours, day-in and day-out, year after year, in order to reach their goal.

Thankfully, there is plenty of research on this subject. Indeed, self-help/self-improvement is a multi-billion dollar industry. While there are many factors recognized as being keys to success, one constant is Grit: dedication, indefatigability, perseverance, steadfastness, tenacity, or stick-to-itiveness. Whatever you wish to call it, one undeniable fact is: those who keep trying keep succeeding.

Check out this great Ted Talk on Grit.

 

This week the Little Samurai and Junior Jujiteiros will be working on escaping the side control and mount positions, while Adults Level 1 will be working on arm bars and arm bar escapes.

See you on the mats!

Put In The Work

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The past two weeks we discussed the importance of being your own CEO and Manager. While these roles help you develop a great vision and a strong plan, they don’t get the work done. Strong leadership and effective management still need talented labor to provide a quality, finished product. All the dreaming and planning in Organization trianglethe world is just that. If the work isn’t being done, well, nothing gets done. See that girl above with the shovel? She’s the one that “gits ‘er done!”

Try as we might, there’s no escaping this part. You can manage yourself well, work smarter, thereby being more efficient with your effort, but in the end, you’ve still gotta put in the effort. You’ve got to batten down that cap, put on your gloves, and get to shoveling.

For the jujiterio, this means mat time. You can dream about that gold medal around your neck, and plan on training twice a day. You can pay close attention to your professor, ask lots of questions, and theorize about strategy. You can watch videos on YouTube, and cheer on your favorite fighter in the latest UFC. None of that can replace the key component: mat time. You’ve gotta put in the work. Don’t get me wrong, that other stuff is fun, and it’s important – but it falls into one of the first two categories. After you’ve done all of that, get on the mat and put in the work!

The Little Samurai will be working on the fundamental movements of break-falling and the technical stand-up, as well as their self-defense application. Junior Jujiteiros will be reviewing basic attacks from the closed guard and learning a couple passes. The Adult Level 1 class will be working on some fundamental take-downs from more of a self-defense perspective.

See you on the mats!

Management

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Last week we talked a bit about the business model as it relates to our personal lives. This week, we’d like to touch on the second part of the model: Management. Management is in charge of developing a plan to achieve the desired goal, and guiding the progress along the way. If management does a poor job, then the organization is inefficient, or completely ineffective in achieving the goal.

Organization triangle

Once you’ve established the big picture, or your vision, it’s time for “management” to figure out a plan of action. How are you going to get where you’re going? What steps must you take in order to bring your dream to fruition? Will it take you weeks, months, or years?

In order to check your progress, this roadmap should have some measurable goals, or checkpoints, along the way. Break down big goals into smaller, more easily achievable ones. If your goal is a week out, you may need daily goals; if a year out, perhaps monthly checkpoints are in order. However you decide to do it, these checkpoints are vital, as they help you make sure you’re on the right path, and are powerful motivators.

Your plan should also be flexible. It’s good to have some contingency plans, because sometimes “life happens.” Unforeseen circumstances, if not adjusted to, can disrupt our pursuits. Without flexibility, it’s difficult to adjust to the change and continue moving forward. Recognize when circumstances change, modify your plan accordingly, and stay the course.

Finally, surround yourself with like-minded people, both peers and mentors. There’s nothing quite as uplifting as the support from a group of folks who are traveling the same path, and experiencing the same trials and tribulations. Finding a mentor can provide the guidance and reassurance needed to stay focused on your journey.

All of this planning is a critical step in the process of being successful. Not only does it help you be more efficient, and effective, but knowing you have a well thought-out plan helps keep you motivated along the way!

The Junior Jujiteiros and Adult Level 1 classes will be focusing on a number of sweeps from the closed guard this week.

See you all on the mats!

What’s your Vision?

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Behind every successful organization one will find three essential roles that helped lead to victory. Whether a multi-national corporation with thousands of employees, or a sole proprietor, Leadership, Management, and Labor are all necessary parts of the whole. Without any one of the three, an organization will struggle to accomplish it’s intended goals, and more than likely fail all together.

Organization triangle

This business model applies just as well to each and every one of us as individuals. The better we are at embracing all three roles in our personal lives, the better we are at achieving our goals. You have to be your own CEO, Manager, and Laborer.

Leadership provides the ultimate goal, product, or Vision of an organization. Without this, there is no business to begin with. These are the folks that dream big, look for opportunity, and envision the final outcome.

So what is your vision? What do you want to do with your life? Each of us needs to take the time to dream, and decide what it is we want for ourselves. As the leader of your life, you have to ask yourself the eternal question, “What do I want to be when I grow up?” Starting big and general, work your way into a more well-defined, specific picture. Where do you want to live? Profession? Education? Married/single/family?

You have chosen to pursue this Brazilian jiujitsu thing. What does that mean to you? Do you want to get in better shape? Learn to defend yourself? Have fun? Become a world champion? Your goals are yours alone. However, as a member of our school, you’re surrounded by like-minded souls on similar paths. We can all help each other achieve success, however each of us may define it. What is your vision?

We’ll be talking about this life-skill in the kids classes this week. We’re going to work on a few ways to break the opponent’s closed guard in the kid’s classes and the Adult Level 1 classes.

See you on the mats!